And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
