I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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