"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Dear god my vagina.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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