What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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