I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
