If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
