Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
