Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
