I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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