I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
