the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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