You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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