I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
