Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
