You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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