I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He felt like a one man threesome
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
