I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
