Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
