M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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