just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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