Is it normal to miss your booty call?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
