This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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