This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
