I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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