At least make sure they are 18
Why
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
