So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
