hotel room ftw
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
