yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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