That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
