Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
