I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Randomize
