I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
