Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
