i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
