Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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