kristin has been a bad kristin
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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