STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I puked a lego.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
