I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
