Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
