i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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