love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
