some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
