The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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