I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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