well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
