Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize