with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize