Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
