Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
