I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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