Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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