and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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