he wants to bone in the snuggie
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
