And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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