Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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