Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
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