i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
