I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize