I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
