; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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