you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Can I color on your dick again?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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