There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
