haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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