Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
