You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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