I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
