Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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